Newspaper Clipping: "Nice Guy Dies by Hands of Women"

Before I met my beautiful girlfriend Amber, I believed I was doomed to be alone for a very long time. As mentioned, I suffer from what professionals call, “Nice Guy Syndrome”. While I could get into the gruesome symptoms (random hair spurts, chronic running nose, the inability to close the deal) I would rather summarize that this is simply, and troublingly, the inability to break free of being friends.

Now, we are not talking “Just Friends” as most guys are familiar with that trap. Nice guys have the luxury, and pain, of becoming “Good friends”. You see, we are what many refer to as a catch. The girls we want so desperately to be with, but remain our good friends mind you, consistently remind us of this fact. It is a seesaw of counter-comments. You are such a catch, and I am so glad we are friends. You are going to make some girl really happy, and I am so happy we are friends. You will find someone I promise, and I am so happy we found each other. It is a constant temptation to just get off, and leave them on the playground alone with a see but no saw.

This temptation is, surprisingly, the path many nice guys take. You cannot blame them. If you are getting punched in the face, you adapt. You learn to dodge. If you keep falling into the trap of friendship, you adapt. You use a different approach. The Nice Guy’s worst enemy is the Dangerous Guy. So why wouldn’t it make sense that we become what we most hate. The Dangerous Guy, after all, is our biggest threat. We watch how our friends fall into their trap consistently. We, for once, want to be the one to set the trap, rather than being the one to fall in it.

It is a sad truth that at my age, women are looking for thrills. The majority of women are not looking to settle down yet. They want to get in trouble, drink like crazy, dance until close, and date a guy who keeps them on their toes. Later in life, they realize they are no longer happy with this lifestyle. They seek a nice guy to sweep them off their feet, and give them the security they have avoided for so long. The sad thing is, in their quest for thrills and adventure they have turned all the nice guys into dicks. Suddenly, the supply that was so abundant is gone. That is why I scoff when I hear women say, “Chivalry is dead”. Dave Chappell responded best, “Chivalry is dead. And women killed it.”

Back when I was searching for a way to break through the “Nice Guy” persona, I read an article on AskMen.com which actually advised men to develop a mean side; to shed their Nice Guy and become a Dangerous Guy. I was insulted and disgusted. I couldn’t believe that people were actually advocating that we get rid of such an asset. It was as if AskMen.com was proposing all bald eagles drink a pint of EDT and die off.

Yes, an asset. I still, and always will, see my Nice Guy as an asset. Even when I was looking for a way out, I made a promise to myself to never leave that piece of me behind. The rarity of such a thing has made me grasp onto it even stronger. I also, around this time, grasped onto being a gentleman, as I was raised. Holding doors, paying for dinner, eating properly, treating women with respect. These are all dying aspects in the 21st century. We cannot let go of such a rare breed so easily.

“It is so hard to find a nice guy" is something I hear often; we may be hard to find, slowly disappearing, but at least we are still out there.